Quand la vie est une tartine de merde: You May Find A Marvelous Lesson in the "Joie de Vivre!" -My Mishaps, Writing Mania, Bad Mandalas and More...

"Oh the wonder that bubbles into my soul." - D.H. Lawrence

In the most lonely, painful and furious nights, I would wake up and realize that I am still here. I can't even begin to count my many blessings and reasons for gratitude. It's overwhelming to lose so much and find everything you needed existed already. True friends, love, resilience, intuition and insights of the heart.  In cracking open, I saw that even my worst is only what I make it. So too, is the possibilities of one's best.

I choose to let lessons of hurtful, judgmental, persecuting and abandon only validate, encourage and inspire my compassion, need for understanding, empathy and patience to love even the meanest people. For no ruinous nature came from someone's genuine contentment or happiness. Not how I understand love, happiness and respect on a human level. 

In four months, I've gotten back into deep meditation. I do it once or twice a day, journaling my intentions, and sending prayers, thoughts or gratitude to whomever is on my mind or in my heart that day.  It has been a remarkable tool. With this, my yoga practice is shaping back up and I'm soon going to start pushing limits (again) ((in a healthy way)) there. 

In three months, I reclaimed my love for writing and have become a contributor for The Huffington Post, I blog daily, and completed hundreds of pages in my "core writing style" for a novel in the making. Poetry (my first literary love) is back in my life. I now know incredible poets, authors, teachers, mentors, publishers...etc. It's surreal. I'm still sad about my life, but  I believe the universe balances these things out. 

In two months, I have over sixty "Picture Quotes" in a project I started called "Lulu Says:Words from Life." Original quotes on original pictures.  It's been so fun.

In less than a month, I've picked up photography and I am nothing special, but it makes me happy, challenges me, and creates records of my children, life, nature, people, places...I'm exploring perspective, symbolism and moments captured in an instant. 

In 2 weeks, Ive fallen in love with the meditative outlet of drawing freehand Mandalas. Now, this....Im terrible with. But my kids always want to do it. I love the quiet work and it is said to reveal one's journey, perspective and slowly expose a pattern of one's true self. It's too fun and calming

Through incredible chaos, pain, transition and turmoil these things have guided me to the notion of " The only way out is through." 


I've lost ideals, perceived concepts, friends, and found greater perspective, meditation, inspirational people,  cheerleaders, ( dare I say) strangers by the throngs encouraging my honesty and attempts to use words originally. The juxtaposition of people loathing me and fan mail? Huh. 

Yet, the more I actually stay open, authentic and aware, I see my ego is useless and I am but a beginner. A new student of life and I take judgment from outside (good or bad) very lightly and without too much attachment. 

Instead, I see things people do for others. I see artist who astound me not just once, but daily or weekly! I see masters of knowledge and beauty with limitless compassion and the only thing I can think is "wow...I've got lots of living and work to do. It humbles beyond any words I try to use.

This new chapter reminds me of yoga. Every time I think I'm getting decent, I see someone or several people so further advanced. I think "Jeeez, where have I been, look at all of them, living this way for ages? Doing these things? Being so mindful." 

I am so inspired to keep improving. Like yoga, those who are genuinely progressing are NOT competitive, but rather supportive and eager to help you, me, anyone achieve their goals, dreams and aspirations. Not because they have some gain, but because they understand, have empathy and perhaps recognize a piece of you in themselves. That is beautiful to me. 


Below are the five Mandalas I have made and a few of my favorite recent photos. The link is to a "LifeHack post with some amazing artistry." It's precisely what I mean about the knowledge that everything and everyone can keep moving forward with a learning mind.

Life hack published some awesome examples of artwork created by people with boundless perspective vs limiting beliefs we place on our lives. Anamorphic Artwork.

Be brave. Be Kind.  Shimmer with a smile. 

Life is hard, bloom anyway!